"This video may not be suitable for minors"

RehDogg is the unofficial poet laureate of Smash Hits, primarily because of the eloquent, James Lipton-worthy descriptions of his music. Witness, if you will, his most recent offering which he describes thus:

"This song pretty much states that I'm a laid back kind of guy but when trouble comes my way I will deal with it accordingly."

That's all well and good but does nothing to explain a) the refugee from the German Wham! cover band hiding in his kitchen, b) the knives and c)...what lurks in the Joe Boxers.

So much about this video is not OK.

RehDogg: a Smash Hits primer

Let's face it - there are a lot of untalented people out there. Music is harder than it looks, my friends. Even thunderously average music requires a certain level of Neanderthal brilliance. (So easy even Chad Kroeger can do it!) It's not like just anyone can sit down and bang out a trite, derivative yet commercially viable radio hook. That kind of highly-valued mediocrity is created in labs from call-out research and survey groups and probably some kind of ancient voodoo ritual.

Nevertheless, there's a lot of average floating around - some halfway decent average, some bad average, some boring average. Some average that sells millions, some average that couldn't get its mom to come to a gig.

However.

When the needle slips below the very generous purgatory of the average or even of "not horrible," we enter the murky water of things that are bad. Lots of things are bad, but certain things are so overwhelming, spectacularly terrible that they take on a certain aura that can best be described as "Oh my God - seriously?"

Take, for instance, prolific hip hop wordsmith RehDogg:



Let's examine how RehDogg manages to elevate his game from merely untalented to bona fide Smash Hit:

• Giving even Ja Rule a run for his money for suspected Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
• Two words: shower scene
• Completely nonsensical lyrics (at varying tempos) apparently have "deep meaning"
• Production budget of $2 and a case of orange soda
• Is completely, unabashedly Not Kidding

It's recommended that you check out RehDogg's entire catalogue on YouTube, if only for the stellar description of his inspiration for "You Say I'm Ugly" the REMIX (of course):

This song is a remix the original song was produced because a man whom had a very close friend hurt his feelings by calling him ugly. the song became extremely popular hence the remix was born. The remix basically has the same elements as the first but also added hurt from rejection by Asian women.

Preach on, brother.